Only Dostoyevsky knows me...

You walk to the back isle labeled Philosophy, pull White Nights off the shelf, slide your back down the shelves sprawling your legs out as you sit to read, “It suddenly seemed to me that I was lonely, that everyone was forsaking me and going away from me. . .For though I have been living almost eight years in Petersburg I had hardly an acquaintance. . .I felt afraid of being left alone, and for three whole days I wandered about the town in profound dejection, not knowing what to do with myself. . .They of course do not know me, but I know them. I know them intimately; I have almost made a study of their faces. . .For two evenings I was puzzling my brains to think what amiss in my corner; why I feel so uncomfortable in it. . .” A woman searching for a book beside you steps in-between your legs, Excuse me, I’m just searching for Camus’s The Stranger.

You know when you read something, and it feels as though the words you are reading came from your own thoughts? That happens a lot when you read philosophy, thoughts you thought no one else thought are captured in literature or philosophical novels waiting for you to see you in them.

© Victoria Venturella, MA, Wait a Meta, Existential Dialogues

Photo from film: A Woman is a Woman (1961)

Dostoevsky, White Nights (1848)

#philosophy #existential #existentialcrisis #nooneunderstandsme

#suffering #deepthinker #lifeishard #literature

#makemeaning #existentialist #loneliness #createyourlife

#existentialism #dostoevsky



pages never read

Scrolling Instagram, a post read,

‘Take me back to the first night we met’

Thinking to myself how there isn’t anyone I’d want to meet again,

You stepped through the door, walked across my mind’s stage.

Meeting me in a duvet fort, engraved with sweaty endless smiles.

Caught like a lily pad floating at the top of my throat,

Imagining what it would be like to re-experience our first scene,

Draped over the sofa,

Like the silhouette of two butterflies

Fluttering nude, laughing.

I kissed you.

I can hear the pages turning

as this half-opened book dangles through my chest,

Like a sinking weight into my heart from shoulder to shoulder.

I’ll never forget you.

© Victoria Venturella, MA, Wait a Meta, Existential Dialogues




Incandescent

Smoldering from the depths of me,

Smoke rises.

Out my vented chest

Butterflies flutter--


Your iris painted

the color of my minds sea.

Labradorite cinereal.

My silvered lantern.


fissured branches,

glowing ember.


Effervescent beauty seeps through me.

Chromatic metamorphosis.


Like moonlight you cast a beam,

On all the places that must

be seen.


Sepia budded vines entangled,

Growing.

I'm already something new.

© Victoria Venturella, MA, Wait a Meta, Existential Dialogues