pages never read

Scrolling Instagram, a post read,

‘Take me back to the first night we met’

Thinking to myself how there isn’t anyone I’d want to meet again,

You stepped through the door, walked across my mind’s stage.

Meeting me in a duvet fort, engraved with sweaty endless smiles.

Caught like a lily pad floating at the top of my throat,

Imagining what it would be like to re-experience our first scene,

Draped over the sofa,

Like the silhouette of two butterflies

Fluttering nude, laughing.

I kissed you.

I can hear the pages turning

as this half-opened book dangles through my chest,

Like a sinking weight into my heart from shoulder to shoulder.

I’ll never forget you.

© Victoria Venturella, MA, Wait a Meta, Existential Dialogues




Moon Clock

Moon Clock

In full vulnerability

Illuminating bright

Luminescence.

You see yourself glimmer

In the gaze of the Other.

Temporal rotation.

Within a shadow

We meet ourselves.

Where are we?

With myself how do I see myself?

In thought? On the page? In a recording?

In my reflections of my recent experiences.

I see myself in you. I see you in myself.

Part of each other’s present evolution.

You no longer are where you were.

One section of chapters becoming the palate to paint the next section.

Opening my evolution from the page I am on today.

Moon Clock

Time to illuminate the world to reveal who we are to ourselves.

Without the world who would we be?

How could we see who we are without all that exists beyond us?

We would be nothing without the world.


© Victoria Venturella, MA, The Existentialist, Existential Dialogues

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Time Vanishes Promptly Easily Finding Yourself in a Creative Headspace

Having ADHD allows for us to experience the world from infinite angles.

We must learn how to navigate in this terrain, while cherishing who you are.

You see the world from a unique individual perspective, as we all do.

How can we best create your everyday landscape to experience all your gifts to their fullest potentiality?

When we recognize the situation or thing differently, that never inherently means that what you see is wrong. How you experience the situation allows for you to see things in a unique way. An idea comes to you. Quickly you search for a pen. While the words briskly begin to leave you. You’ve moved on to something else. Which later prompts you to search for something in a different room.

Time vanishes promptly easily finding yourself in a creative headspace. Splashing loudly in a completely new project equally intriguing.

We just need to learn how to navigate such a landscape that grabs so much of our undivided attention.

Achieving a consistent state of timelessness is something to cherish. How can you fit it in without letting the other areas of your life suffer?

How can we better manage our time to manifest our big ideas?

Pausing with life as it draws your attention is something to be valued.

How can you incorporate the way you see the world while adhering to societal norms and systems that were built for the collective majority?

There is nothing wrong with needing more time for things.

Everyone in the world could read the same book and we would all have different perspective on it.

You are with yourself for your entire life.

Pay attention to what works best for you. Honor what you need to live into your fullest potential. Never hinder the others capacity to become their best selves too. For me to be free you must be free.

What are all your living projects?

The ones that continue onward, and never seem to be finished?


© Victoria Venturella, MA, The Existentialist, Existential Dialogues

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Free Fall into the Universe

Even when it feels like the ground no longer exists below you,

And the outcome seems infinitely uncertain,

Allow yourself to free fall into the universe of the unknown.


So much will come from your willingness to find out what will one day be.


Be with the mystery,

Love fully even with the potential heartbreak,


New choices lead us somewhere else.


Live freely.


Live loudly.


Live into your fullest potential in life.


© Victoria Venturella, MA, The Existentialist, Existential Dialogues

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We Already Know

Dropping in,

here we sit.


Present with such certainty.


You will feel someone love you just as hard.


You’ll never be too much.


Energy completely matched.


Mutual. Same page.


Perpetually pursued.


Like a parachute,


Expanding widely in your wind.


In a tree house,

dangling our feet,

the universe feels,

our gratitude.


Emerging,


Spilling over my cup,


My saucer,


My heart.


Vividly living


the prime of your life.


All those relationships didn’t work out so you can experience the one that will.

© Victoria Venturella, MA, The Existentialist, Existential Dialogues


#growtogether #relationshipwithself #lifelonglearner #transcendence #metamorphosis #change #evolving #growth #truelove #lovefully #heartbreak #love #loveyourself #communication #relationships #futureself #existentialquestions #victoriaventurella #existentialism #phenomenology #existentialphenomenology #existentialangst #angst #beingwithyourself #existentialpsychology #centralpurposetherapy

Victoria Venturella, MA, Existential Phenomenological Psychotherapist

My heart.

My heart.

People Who Mean Something to Us will Always Mean Something to Us

What does it mean to truly let someone go?

It doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t feel right.

Sitting in the pit of my stomach,

I don’t want to rid myself of you.

Do I have a choice to never remember someone I care deeply for?

How could you let someone go if you forever remember them?

When we let go of someone we love,

All those experiences, all those words of wisdom,

all that prior presence,

manifests itself as part of the things that consciously and unconsciously change you.

People who mean something to us will always mean something to us.

Them just meaning this much means something.

Your interpretation of the thing makes meaning. The meaning associated with the thing itself evolves as you experience new experiences. Where the previous interpretation presents itself in a new light and therefore this new interpretation contributes to the meaning of the original thing.

The same thing infinitely evolving within your finite existence adding meaning to this life you’re presently living.

To let go of someone you love,

You must consciously acknowledge you cannot reach them.

They cannot be turned toward, leaned on,

seen.

You will never know how you’ve impacted them or how new experiences have contributed to any future interpretation of their everyday life.

You will no longer bear witness to them.

To let go of them you can consciously choose to take them with you.

Letting go when you’d rather choose not to.

Teachers of humility, courage, and free choice.

Ethical mentors that perpetually reverberate the things we’ve learned in life,

Our relational sound boards.

Our space for private inquiry and internal exploration.

Our therapists.

How has your experience with this person contributed to your understanding of who you’ve come to be thus far?

Why do we let go of people?

People who we love dies.

People who would rather not communicate.

They couldn’t confront themselves or you.

They couldn’t grow with you.

When someone who saw you no longer sees you.

What it felt like to be seen when they saw you comes with you.

What if you notice no one sees you like them?

What does that end up meaning to you?

Revelatory moments of ourselves.

Never-ending.

You know what it feels like to be truly seen.

People manifest as change in us across a lifespan.

They fall to the tapestry of lived experience reappearing from the engagement with something that elicited original thoughts of them.

Coffee shop in a museum of art.

Dirty chai.

Leaning backwards. I look up.

Accordions dangled from the ceiling above me, how couldn’t I think of you.

Sipping and swirling with notes of insight.

With the deepest sense of gratitude for free choice.

What a bright light. . .

#insight

© Victoria Venturella, Existential Dialogues, The Existentialist

#futureself

#time

#space

#agency

#freechoice

#change

#presentmoment

#bepresent

#presence

#beingseen

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#showingup

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#victoriaventurella

#relationshipwithself #communication #transcendence

#futureself #infinitepossibilities

#existentialpsychotherapy

Read Something that Provokes you to Read More

What illuminates for you when you see me, is something I could never see of myself.

Gliding along the surface keeping our eyes out for what shimmers in our ever-shifting temporal constellation. If we are to discover anything new along the way to where we are going, we must be open to change. I must be open to the idea that something beyond me right now could change me; anything other than me that I interact with has the power to change me.

You need the freedom to take a moment to read something when it provokes you to read more.

You continue to re-arrange your internal bookshelf, making space for the next must read.


When will you give yourself the space to learn freely?


Why must you always be doing something else when something over here sparked your curiosity?


Only in the preservation of art, does it extend beyond the experience it was originally created in. It is in the experience we consciously occupy that we are drawn into the ideas that were once written. We mingle in the space that exists between the book and our mind as it leads us into an unescapable dialogue with ourselves in an adventurous form. Experiential moments that render time transform us, because if something moves you, it shows you something in relation to yourself.

© Victoria Venturella, Existential Dialogues, The Existentialist

#readmore

#read

#reading

#maketime

#makespace

#beproductive in all of life.

#freedom

#internaldialogue

#letsgo

#timelessness

#giveyourselfpermission

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#existential

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#victoriaventurella

#relationshipwithself #communication #transcendence

#futureself #infinitepossibilities

#existentialpsychotherapy

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Separation does not inherently mean permanence.

As you walk along the sidewalk your feet cannot merge with the earth. The leaves in trees will forever blow beside you. As long as you are living the sky will exist above you. My hand against yours will forever be smaller and no matter how hard we press upon each other we will never completely merge. You can spin me out into the floor of life, letting go while still feeling my presence. We dance alone while still dancing together. Magnetically we coalesce cultivating our rhythmic promenade. Spiraling outwards into all the coordinates of this floor and then meeting again in the middle. We languish. We are forever foreign no matter how familiar. We enunciate where we are while we occupy the same space. To move together we must speak each other’s language. As we evolve individually new words will need to be translated to express the full scope of where we now find ourselves. To dance on the same floor, we must remain innovative. We will need to find new moves to grow together.

We choose to dance on the same floor for the rest of our lives within the world of floors. One day one of us will stop dancing. The floor will never reflect absence into our eyes quite like this day. Where the music streams together scenes of our shared moments, you imagine leaning me backwards. We both feel weightless. I am a memory within the permanence of our separation. Forever in your arms, forever separate.

As you whisper silence softly into my ear, embers flutter all around us from the burning fire of adventure we both loudly ruminate on. While we travel, we still dance. Alone I travel at the edge of the world along the tracks of this sacred solitude. I lean my head against this leather seat watching the trees merge from constant motion. Lifting my cheek from the seat I draw my attention inward staring at the empty seat before me. Imagination begins to paint you into where I am. Your eyes smiling at me, you tap my foot with yours. As you look out the window with me, your laughter echoes through my mind, and I am here. Where I am. Becoming aware of the time, I am no longer somewhere else. The mountain side takes the shape of our windows. You are not home. I listen to the bird singing outside, and I accept that what will be, will be. Separation does not inherently mean permanence. Your absence does not sadden me. Even if I sat along the floor weeping in the reflection of your Truest absence, I would still dance once I stood up. Often in your honor. I will not always have something to hold on to, I may be twirling solo infinitely through the center of the floor. I can exist without you, enjoy the world I live in, and still await your presence. Wherever we are, we are. It is possible for two people to be together without belonging to one another. Where they have a sacred relationship that takes on its own form. No one is obligated to stay, to be the others Other. The choice to be together is always on the table.

Cherish the experience you have in world with all things. Even a separation of impermanence could unintentionally be permanent. Life has its way of casting tragedy upon us and giving us new gardens to eat from. In the absence of the Other you may see how much their presence means to you. Even if when they are present you know this, in their absence it becomes clearer.

You are a being-in-the-world. You live in a fundamental separateness from everything that exists beyond you, while you can never separate yourself completely from the world while you are living. No exposure, no disclosure, no nakedness, no corporeal friction will ever dissolve our asymmetrical nature. We will forever live-in relation to The Other.

© Victoria Venturella, Existential Dialogues, The Existentialist