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There is a path from here to there paved in reels of undeveloped film.
You are the only one who will ever see it the way you experienced it.
You get to keep all the pictures.
You can choose which way to go
but you’ll never be for certain the future of not yet.
Life lives in mystery, love, and what’s not yet known.
The power of the future not yet.
© Victoria Venturella, MA, The Existentialist, Existential Dialogues
Moon Clock
In full vulnerability
Illuminating bright
Luminescence.
You see yourself glimmer
In the gaze of the Other.
Temporal rotation.
Within a shadow
We meet ourselves.
Where are we?
With myself how do I see myself?
In thought? On the page? In a recording?
In my reflections of my recent experiences.
I see myself in you. I see you in myself.
Part of each other’s present evolution.
You no longer are where you were.
One section of chapters becoming the palate to paint the next section.
Opening my evolution from the page I am on today.
Moon Clock
Time to illuminate the world to reveal who we are to ourselves.
Without the world who would we be?
How could we see who we are without all that exists beyond us?
We would be nothing without the world.
© Victoria Venturella, MA, The Existentialist, Existential Dialogues
Heart pieces shattered floating inside.
Sinking weight of sadness.
Not sure where you went.
Roses drooping swaying in the wind,
Old seeds sprouting,
The movement from there to here,
Inside the petals,
Caught in a pre-emptive bloom.
Holding my knees,
Drenched in the musk of you,
Notes of dialogues flutter in,
All those authentic gestures,
Willingness to see,
Awareness of being seen,
We bloom again.
Meeting the edge of each other,
Perpetually asymmetrical.
Saying the things people never give space to,
Encouraging hard conversations.
Wading in the full truth we swim.
© Victoria Venturella, MA, The Existentialist, Existential Dialogues
What does it mean to truly let someone go?
It doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t feel right.
Sitting in the pit of my stomach,
I don’t want to rid myself of you.
Do I have a choice to never remember someone I care deeply for?
How could you let someone go if you forever remember them?
When we let go of someone we love,
All those experiences, all those words of wisdom,
all that prior presence,
manifests itself as part of the things that consciously and unconsciously change you.
People who mean something to us will always mean something to us.
Them just meaning this much means something.
Your interpretation of the thing makes meaning. The meaning associated with the thing itself evolves as you experience new experiences. Where the previous interpretation presents itself in a new light and therefore this new interpretation contributes to the meaning of the original thing.
The same thing infinitely evolving within your finite existence adding meaning to this life you’re presently living.
To let go of someone you love,
You must consciously acknowledge you cannot reach them.
They cannot be turned toward, leaned on,
seen.
You will never know how you’ve impacted them or how new experiences have contributed to any future interpretation of their everyday life.
You will no longer bear witness to them.
To let go of them you can consciously choose to take them with you.
Letting go when you’d rather choose not to.
Teachers of humility, courage, and free choice.
Ethical mentors that perpetually reverberate the things we’ve learned in life,
Our relational sound boards.
Our space for private inquiry and internal exploration.
Our therapists.
How has your experience with this person contributed to your understanding of who you’ve come to be thus far?
Why do we let go of people?
People who we love dies.
People who would rather not communicate.
They couldn’t confront themselves or you.
They couldn’t grow with you.
When someone who saw you no longer sees you.
What it felt like to be seen when they saw you comes with you.
What if you notice no one sees you like them?
What does that end up meaning to you?
Revelatory moments of ourselves.
Never-ending.
You know what it feels like to be truly seen.
People manifest as change in us across a lifespan.
They fall to the tapestry of lived experience reappearing from the engagement with something that elicited original thoughts of them.
Coffee shop in a museum of art.
Dirty chai.
Leaning backwards. I look up.
Accordions dangled from the ceiling above me, how couldn’t I think of you.
Sipping and swirling with notes of insight.
With the deepest sense of gratitude for free choice.
What a bright light. . .
#insight
© Victoria Venturella, Existential Dialogues, The Existentialist
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If you never say it out loud then you won’t benefit from hearing yourself say it. Especially when someone else is listening simultaneously helping you to see it.
Other people show us ourselves.
When you say something out loud to the other, you hear yourself say it. Something happens when you acknowledge what you just said.
When you see that I see. The response to what is said is experienced verbally and non-verbally suspending all judgement. Bringing something to you in the purest form of authenticity for the betterment of who you are becoming.
The experiences you have stay with you. An interaction between you two arrives as a kodak moment at some unfamiliar juncture in a future present moment.
Every experience summons previous experiences. Whether consciously or unconsciously we make sense of what we are experiencing in the here and now. Unfamiliarity instantly reveals itself along the ambiguous edges of what we automatically find familiar. Sitting in the garden room anchored top of minds edge. Thoughts blossom rapidly in the immediacy of what is known as known and unknown. Questions take a seat, front row. They raise their hands pointing all over a map of meaning pressed deeply in minds wall. Full scenes and flashes of just one part dive into the deep end of our heart. Simultaneously placing our experience and our interpretations upon the present in ways we could not completely see for ourselves.
Every immediate connection in a present instance is not known. You will never know for certain what within the periphery of your focal point will reappear at some foreign unknown future present situation.
Questions come from and are answered through imagination. You would not have been able to conjure up such a plausible possibility had you not considered what could be based on what is. What is always includes part of what is not yet known. Even what is known can one day be known as something else. We must leave space in every present moment for the future to show us an unknown unknown. You can proceed with full certainty that you do not know everything. The ocean’s perpetual mystery and the endless ambiguity found in the universe existing beyond us, gives you uncertainty you can rely on. Human beings evolve. You can be for certain something manmade will exist in the future that may or may not advance our species, remaining forever unknown to you.
© Victoria Venturella, Existential Dialogues, The Existentialist