The Power of The Future Not Yet

There is a path from here to there paved in reels of undeveloped film.

You are the only one who will ever see it the way you experienced it.

You get to keep all the pictures.

You can choose which way to go

but you’ll never be for certain the future of not yet.


Life lives in mystery, love, and what’s not yet known.


The power of the future not yet.

© Victoria Venturella, MA, The Existentialist, Existential Dialogues

If you believe it's possible the world inspired you

Everything we create comes from the experiences we have in the world.

Originality is born from human experience.

The world has so much beauty to show you even in its absurdity.

If you believe it’s possible then the world inspired you.

© Victoria Venturella, MA, Existential Phenomenological Psychotherapist, The Existentialist, Existential Dialogues

#originality

#inspiration #inspire

@existentialdialogues

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originality is born.jpg

Gone long enough for home to feel foreign and familiar at the same time

Long enough to lose my rhythm,

Experience a completely new one.

When the space you created

Was with you anywhere you existed.

Being with what the experience is giving us.

Adaptation with known impermanence

Savor every unique sliver of those moments.

Your home is where you create it, but it starts

In your inner self.

Even your home can become foreign the longer you exist away from it,

Familiarity caught within all the things that have shifted for me.

Every corner reveals potentiality.

New visions are coming to me, ideas that must be written.


Home.


This is a place you create.


An empty canvas to slouch paint all over.


You build your shelter and continuously invent it.


You are the creator of your life.


Like a glimmer on a crystal rock,

Light brings out the sparkles from

Infinite angles.

© Victoria Venturella, MA, The Existentialist, Existential Dialogues

#createyourownlife

#manifest

#curiosity

#youareunique

#buildyourshelter

#youareyourhome

#homeiswhereyouare

#mindset

#presentmoment

#bepresent

#presence

#beingseen

#beingheard

#showingup

#vulnerablity

#courage

#existentialangst

#angst

#hereandnow

#whatsatstake

#beseen

#lovedeeply

#existential

#existentialdread

#trusttheuniverse

#existentialphenomeology

#victoriaventurella

#relationshipwithself #communication #transcendence

#futureself #infinitepossibilities

#existentialpsychotherapy

Where are you?

Heart pieces shattered floating inside.


Sinking weight of sadness.


Not sure where you went.


Roses drooping swaying in the wind,


Old seeds sprouting,


The movement from there to here,


Inside the petals,


Caught in a pre-emptive bloom.


Holding my knees,


Drenched in the musk of you,


Notes of dialogues flutter in,


All those authentic gestures,


Willingness to see,


Awareness of being seen,


We bloom again.


Meeting the edge of each other,


Perpetually asymmetrical.


Saying the things people never give space to,


Encouraging hard conversations.


Wading in the full truth we swim.

© Victoria Venturella, MA, The Existentialist, Existential Dialogues

People Who Mean Something to Us will Always Mean Something to Us

What does it mean to truly let someone go?

It doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t feel right.

Sitting in the pit of my stomach,

I don’t want to rid myself of you.

Do I have a choice to never remember someone I care deeply for?

How could you let someone go if you forever remember them?

When we let go of someone we love,

All those experiences, all those words of wisdom,

all that prior presence,

manifests itself as part of the things that consciously and unconsciously change you.

People who mean something to us will always mean something to us.

Them just meaning this much means something.

Your interpretation of the thing makes meaning. The meaning associated with the thing itself evolves as you experience new experiences. Where the previous interpretation presents itself in a new light and therefore this new interpretation contributes to the meaning of the original thing.

The same thing infinitely evolving within your finite existence adding meaning to this life you’re presently living.

To let go of someone you love,

You must consciously acknowledge you cannot reach them.

They cannot be turned toward, leaned on,

seen.

You will never know how you’ve impacted them or how new experiences have contributed to any future interpretation of their everyday life.

You will no longer bear witness to them.

To let go of them you can consciously choose to take them with you.

Letting go when you’d rather choose not to.

Teachers of humility, courage, and free choice.

Ethical mentors that perpetually reverberate the things we’ve learned in life,

Our relational sound boards.

Our space for private inquiry and internal exploration.

Our therapists.

How has your experience with this person contributed to your understanding of who you’ve come to be thus far?

Why do we let go of people?

People who we love dies.

People who would rather not communicate.

They couldn’t confront themselves or you.

They couldn’t grow with you.

When someone who saw you no longer sees you.

What it felt like to be seen when they saw you comes with you.

What if you notice no one sees you like them?

What does that end up meaning to you?

Revelatory moments of ourselves.

Never-ending.

You know what it feels like to be truly seen.

People manifest as change in us across a lifespan.

They fall to the tapestry of lived experience reappearing from the engagement with something that elicited original thoughts of them.

Coffee shop in a museum of art.

Dirty chai.

Leaning backwards. I look up.

Accordions dangled from the ceiling above me, how couldn’t I think of you.

Sipping and swirling with notes of insight.

With the deepest sense of gratitude for free choice.

What a bright light. . .

#insight

© Victoria Venturella, Existential Dialogues, The Existentialist

#futureself

#time

#space

#agency

#freechoice

#change

#presentmoment

#bepresent

#presence

#beingseen

#beingheard

#showingup

#vulnerablity

#courage

#memories

#existentialangst

#angst

#hereandnow

#whatsatstake

#beseen

#lovedeeply

#existential

#existentialdread

#trusttheuniverse

#existentialphenomeology

#victoriaventurella

#relationshipwithself #communication #transcendence

#futureself #infinitepossibilities

#existentialpsychotherapy

Relationships do not magically begin where you want them to be

Relationships do not magically begin where you want them to be. You must work toward having a shared existence you both want to live in. However you expected it to be won’t be how it actually is. Your partner is an entirely different human being with their own mind, and they have their own ideas as to how they imagined this going.


We all like to think that we could find “the one” that fits perfect with us, but in all reality the ones that fit perfect with us in the beginning ends up eventually having ruptures and dissonance that will need to be worked through together. Two human beings that come together will never be absolutely on point at all times. The only thing you can do is acknowledge when you are not and make space together to figure out where to go from there.


If what you imagine wanting in a relationship is not happening in the first few months with someone, consider what it is you are really wanting. Is it marriage? Is it kids? Is it everyday cuddles? Is it the everydayness of life you want to share with someone? Is it that you want to build a life with your best friend and support each other’s growth and dreams? Now consider how do you get to that point with someone? Do you skip the dates for dinner and a movie? Do you skip the endless conversations to figure out who each other are? Do you start from knowing deeply, loving deeply, and living fully enmeshed? Relationships take work to get to a place where longevity is prominent. It takes time to be the others other in this full-bodied all-encompassing way.


Then there are those people who meet and after only a few encounters they know they must be with that person. Are we all living for a situation like this to occur? These stories are rare and prevalent enough for them to exist as a rational possibility for us all to imagine it would occur for us too. If we never experience it, are we missing out? Is finding someone and facing the raw hard reality with the other meaningless? Even those people who feel they must be together after just a few encounters come up against the reality of their differences in who they are as people. There will be times where you do not understand each other, where you miss the other completely, where you disappoint the other without even understanding why, where you want to do something, but they want to do something else, where they think it is totally fine and you absolutely disagree. How you work together through these fissures is what moves the relationship along or contributes to its potential disintegration. You must learn to grow together, or you will grow apart preventing each other from fully blooming.


© Victoria Venturella, Existential Dialogues, The Existentialist


#relationships #infinitehuman #sharedexistence #beingseen #beingheard #activelistening #everdayliving #relationshipsarehard #relationshipsarework #communication #bepresent #besupportive #marriage #justmarried #theone #centralpurposetherapy #existential #existentialphenomeology #victoriaventurella #relationshipwithself #communication #transcendence #futureself #infinitepossibilities #existentialpsychotherapy

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How many unsent letters do you file in your mind?

How many times does it take you to form the first sentence?

Back spacing in deep thought.

Where do you put all those love letters?

last words never said?

What about all those questions?

potential proposals?

all that honesty?

sudden arrivals of insight?

Why haven’t you told them yet?

Are you afraid of true love?

Why do you think you have forever?

Why would you wait to tell them what you continually wish to share with them?

Being vulnerable is transformative and healing.

What about those moments that you no longer feel like you are where you were?

Where do you file all the letters you write yourself? Those meaningful monologues of the deepest internal texture?

You don’t have to journal everyday to journal.

#journaling

#unsentletters

#writeletters

#havehardconversations

#fallinlove

#livedeeply

#lovedeeply

#liveloudly

#loveloudly

#beauthentic

#existentialquestions

#askmorequestions

#existentialangst

#angst

#hereandnow

#whatsatstake

#beseen

#lovedeeply

#existential

#existentialdread

#trusttheuniverse

#existentialphenomeology

#victoriaventurella

#relationshipwithself #communication #transcendence

#futureself #infinitepossibilities

#existentialpsychotherapy

Victoria Venturella, MA, Existential Phenomenological Psychotherapist

© Victoria Venturella, Existential Dialogues, The Existentialist

If you keep it all inside, you’ll never hear yourself say it.

If you never say it out loud then you won’t benefit from hearing yourself say it. Especially when someone else is listening simultaneously helping you to see it.


Other people show us ourselves.


When you say something out loud to the other, you hear yourself say it. Something happens when you acknowledge what you just said.


When you see that I see. The response to what is said is experienced verbally and non-verbally suspending all judgement. Bringing something to you in the purest form of authenticity for the betterment of who you are becoming.


The experiences you have stay with you. An interaction between you two arrives as a kodak moment at some unfamiliar juncture in a future present moment.


Every experience summons previous experiences. Whether consciously or unconsciously we make sense of what we are experiencing in the here and now. Unfamiliarity instantly reveals itself along the ambiguous edges of what we automatically find familiar. Sitting in the garden room anchored top of minds edge. Thoughts blossom rapidly in the immediacy of what is known as known and unknown. Questions take a seat, front row. They raise their hands pointing all over a map of meaning pressed deeply in minds wall. Full scenes and flashes of just one part dive into the deep end of our heart. Simultaneously placing our experience and our interpretations upon the present in ways we could not completely see for ourselves.


Every immediate connection in a present instance is not known. You will never know for certain what within the periphery of your focal point will reappear at some foreign unknown future present situation.


Questions come from and are answered through imagination. You would not have been able to conjure up such a plausible possibility had you not considered what could be based on what is. What is always includes part of what is not yet known. Even what is known can one day be known as something else. We must leave space in every present moment for the future to show us an unknown unknown. You can proceed with full certainty that you do not know everything. The ocean’s perpetual mystery and the endless ambiguity found in the universe existing beyond us, gives you uncertainty you can rely on. Human beings evolve. You can be for certain something manmade will exist in the future that may or may not advance our species, remaining forever unknown to you.
© Victoria Venturella, Existential Dialogues, The Existentialist

How far do you expand thought?

When you think a thought does it stop right there?

 

Do you stretch it to every corner of the world?

 

Do you take it inward and sit with it real deep?

 

Do you blurt it out letting it fall into the room?

 

How far does your curiosity guide you?

 

Are you willing to unravel where this thought came from?

 

How many experiences merge for you to conjure such an interpretation?

 

What do you do when something you are thinking doesn’t make sense?

 

What thoughts do you choose not to entertain?

 

When do you let a thought go on purpose?

 

Where does it go when it feels like it evaporates?

 

What do you consciously do with thoughts that continually resurface?

 

Do you sound out your feelings on paper?

 

What do you do with all the images you imagine? Do you ever imagine painting them?

 

Sketching them out blanketly in the sky above the sea, lost in thought staring lightly blue.

 

What do you do with the thoughts you zone out deeply thinking about?

 

How far do those thoughts expand when you forgot everything else mattered?

 

What does it feel like to think in silence?

 

How many instruments do you hear in this song?

 

Have you ever considered how many things influenced one thought? Chain of thoughts? Perpetual thoughts?

 

What do you do when you realize something you do comes from your Mother? Father? Caregiver? Mentor? Partner? Friend? How many thoughts become attached to that?

 

Have you ever examined what you tell yourself and ponder where it comes from?

 

Those questions that flood our psyche.

 

Have you ever considered what led you to such a passion? Where is this energy stored?

 

What do you do with creative juices felt in abundance?

 

How many branches hold a potential possibility in this imaginative thinking tree?

 

How many thoughts get lost in your shower?

 

What about the last one before you sleep?

 

What about the thoughts that pertain to why we are even here?

What do you think it means to be free?

 

To be free we must all be free.

 

 

Have you ever challenged yourself to find your own answer?

 

 

Do you hinder your best-self due to the perception of the other?

 

 

How important is it to you to form your own opinion?

 

Caption- [How far do you expand thought?]

 

#thinkdeeper

#doresearch

#deepthinker

 #formyourownopinion

 

#philosophy

 

#poet

 

#deeppoems

 

#poems

#thinkingthing

#thinker

#think

 

 

#askmorequestions

#question

 

#existentialquestions

 

#showerthoughts

 

#freewill

#freedom

 

#deepconversations

 

Can you attempt to exist within the shoes of the other?

 

#thinktank

#brainstorm

#imagination

#imagine

#dreambigger

#dreambig

#ideamachiene

#youchoose

#loveyourself

#yourarepowerful

#youarehere

#youexist

#existential

#existentialangst

#existentialdread

#trusttheuniverse

 

#existentialphenomeology

#victoriaventurella

#relationshipwithself #communication #transcendence

#futureself #infinitepossibilities

#existentialpsychotherapy

Victoria Venturella, MA, Existential Phenomenological Psychotherapist, LMHCA

@ExistentialDialogues

@Centralpurposetherapy

© Victoria Venturella, Existential Dialogues, The Existentialist

“To perceive is suddenly to commit to an entire future of experiences in a present that never, strictly speaking, guarantees that future; to perceive is to believe in a world. It is this opening to a world that makes perceptual truth possible, or the actual realization of a Wahr-Nehmung, and permits us “to cross out” the preceding illusion, to hold it to be null and void. . .I was conscious of seeing a shadow and now I am conscious of having only seen a fly. My belonging to the world allows me to compensate for the fluctuations of the cogito, to displace one cogito in favor of another, and to meet up with the truth of my thought beyond its appearance (p.311).
— Merleau-Ponty, The Phenomenology of Perception

How to live with uncertainty:

·      Acknowledge you do not know everything. There are the known knowns, the known unknowns, and the unknown unknowns.

·      Embrace being a life-long learner.

·      Accept that the way you imagine it will be, will be different.

·      Find beauty in mystery, surprise, experience without translation, and the distance of time.

·      Knowing the outcome before its occurrence is humanly impossible. You must accept you will never know exactly how your job, relationship, week, or day will go.

·      Know you will not always have a way to describe what you want to articulate.

·      You will never know the wisdom of your future self before you are there.

·      You must accept that you may not know the reason for why any of this exists in your lifetime.

·      Accept uncertainty as a foundation of life.

·      You are an architect of your own life. Build the frame for experience to live in.

Author: Victoria Venturella, MA, Existential Phenomenological Psychotherapist, LMHCA

© Victoria Venturella, Existential Dialogues, The Existentialist

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Expect the Unexpected

You can count on there being something unknown about every given situation. You cannot be for certain what someone will say. How the meeting will go. When you will receive a phone call, or an email, or a knock on your door. You cannot know how a relationship will evolve, if you will get married, if you will have children, if it will all work out as you hope.

You cannot know exactly how you will feel 10 years from now about this specific subject matter. You may have evolved so far beyond where you are right now that you have a completely new perspective.

Everything between now and the next moment is undetermined. We cannot control the weather. We can not control the response of others.


We do have control over how we respond to the situation. The situation could play itself out as we had imagined it would, or not. You can strive to get to where you aspire to be, and you may just get there. Proceed as if you will.


Proceed as if it will work out.


Just know that one thing is for certain, you cannot know for certain what will occur in the future. We can depend on ambiguity to perpetually exist in all parts of life.

© Victoria Venturella, Existential Dialogues, The Existentialist

#presentsituation

#control #respond

#expect #unexpected #future

#grounding #truth

#feltsense

#unexplainable

#justfeelsright

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#unknown #thisislife #existence #notknowing #lifelonglearner #humanbeing

#living

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#existentialpsychotherapy