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There is a path from here to there paved in reels of undeveloped film.
You are the only one who will ever see it the way you experienced it.
You get to keep all the pictures.
You can choose which way to go
but you’ll never be for certain the future of not yet.
Life lives in mystery, love, and what’s not yet known.
The power of the future not yet.
© Victoria Venturella, MA, The Existentialist, Existential Dialogues
Moon Clock
In full vulnerability
Illuminating bright
Luminescence.
You see yourself glimmer
In the gaze of the Other.
Temporal rotation.
Within a shadow
We meet ourselves.
Where are we?
With myself how do I see myself?
In thought? On the page? In a recording?
In my reflections of my recent experiences.
I see myself in you. I see you in myself.
Part of each other’s present evolution.
You no longer are where you were.
One section of chapters becoming the palate to paint the next section.
Opening my evolution from the page I am on today.
Moon Clock
Time to illuminate the world to reveal who we are to ourselves.
Without the world who would we be?
How could we see who we are without all that exists beyond us?
We would be nothing without the world.
© Victoria Venturella, MA, The Existentialist, Existential Dialogues
Who defines perfect?
Who defines your imperfections?
Society leaves space for human error because it’s a given that human beings will potentially miss something in any given circumstance.
You can try to excel at something, lower the potentiality for making a mistake in this or that. You can attempt to perfect what you or society consider imperfections. But the mere fact that these imperfections exist are absolutely what makes you a perfect human.
Would you be human without error?
Being a perfect human accounts for the potentiality of not knowing, not seeing, not hearing, not understanding, memory misalignment. While at the same time we have lots of resources out there to help us learn, get on track, inform ourselves, to make better choices. Even if you were an expert in the field at something, there is always the potential for not having noticed something, doesn’t mean you won’t notice it later, and if someone pointed it out to you right now you would integrate it into what you know seamlessly.
There isn’t a human being that exists that doesn’t warrant grace for human error. Therefore, making errors is part of what makes us a perfect human.
Let’s consider what society deems as perfect, or what you consider as perfect. Someone who is perfect knows how to show up at all social situations, can pick up on every social cue and respond effectively, can feel into their emotions, can master every single thing they try on the first attempt, can beat everyone at everything, you name it they will win it, can raise perfect children just like themselves, can be everywhere at the exact same moment, can satisfy all the needs of everyone they know at the same time, practices self-care, takes on new hobbies, pursues all their passions and excels at every single one of them, gets exceptional sleep nightly, wakes up with a pep in their step onto the kitchen to make an amazing breakfast that fulfills all the nutrients needed to jump start the day, can pick up on all social cues as if they are a mind reader and know exactly how to respond to the other to where they can be just as supportive as they are needing to be, never gets sick, the body and mind coincide until late age and body depletion never hinders what they want to pursue in late life, they know every answer to everything, they can win every talk show, they remember everything they have been through in life and having exceptional recall, they photograph books into their brain and file them away for easy access later, nothing they ever cook tastes off and never burns, they never trip walking up the stairs, they always know where they are going, they never accidently add something together wrong, they learned every foreign language, and can speak it fluently to native cultures, they give excellent massages and have the capacity to be emotionally supportive to everyone in the world in the same way a therapist can to a select number of clients without conflict of interest, their attachment style is completely secure regardless of how they were treated as a child, the trauma they experience in the world is processed on their own in their own head, everything can be articulated and nothing is too complicated, they write all the New York Times best sellers, writes prolific poetry, graduates Cum Laude after choosing from any of all schools they were accepted into, never gets into a car accident, upholds a physique that never wavers no matter what they eat or whether they work out or not, never not thinks of a possible option to why something may be the way that it is, they can instantly consider all the potential possibilities with all possible outcomes and make a choice on the spot without having to sleep on it, they remember everyone’s birthday, they know every holiday in every culture by heart, calls all their friends and family in a sufficient amount of time to maintain close relationships, never kills a plant they pot, never leaves the oven on, never gets sun burned, they can also hear everything around them perfectly as if each thing is isolated on its own within every situation, there is not room for any error.
© Victoria Venturella, MA, The Existentialist, Existential Dialogues
#perfection
#imperfection
#beingperfect
#makingmistakes
#humanerror
Dropping in,
here we sit.
Present with such certainty.
You will feel someone love you just as hard.
You’ll never be too much.
Energy completely matched.
Mutual. Same page.
Perpetually pursued.
Like a parachute,
Expanding widely in your wind.
In a tree house,
dangling our feet,
the universe feels,
our gratitude.
Emerging,
Spilling over my cup,
My saucer,
My heart.
Vividly living
the prime of your life.
All those relationships didn’t work out so you can experience the one that will.
© Victoria Venturella, MA, The Existentialist, Existential Dialogues
#growtogether #relationshipwithself #lifelonglearner #transcendence #metamorphosis #change #evolving #growth #truelove #lovefully #heartbreak #love #loveyourself #communication #relationships #futureself #existentialquestions #victoriaventurella #existentialism #phenomenology #existentialphenomenology #existentialangst #angst #beingwithyourself #existentialpsychology #centralpurposetherapy
Victoria Venturella, MA, Existential Phenomenological Psychotherapist
My heart.
Heart pieces shattered floating inside.
Sinking weight of sadness.
Not sure where you went.
Roses drooping swaying in the wind,
Old seeds sprouting,
The movement from there to here,
Inside the petals,
Caught in a pre-emptive bloom.
Holding my knees,
Drenched in the musk of you,
Notes of dialogues flutter in,
All those authentic gestures,
Willingness to see,
Awareness of being seen,
We bloom again.
Meeting the edge of each other,
Perpetually asymmetrical.
Saying the things people never give space to,
Encouraging hard conversations.
Wading in the full truth we swim.
© Victoria Venturella, MA, The Existentialist, Existential Dialogues
Relationships do not magically begin where you want them to be. You must work toward having a shared existence you both want to live in. However you expected it to be won’t be how it actually is. Your partner is an entirely different human being with their own mind, and they have their own ideas as to how they imagined this going.
We all like to think that we could find “the one” that fits perfect with us, but in all reality the ones that fit perfect with us in the beginning ends up eventually having ruptures and dissonance that will need to be worked through together. Two human beings that come together will never be absolutely on point at all times. The only thing you can do is acknowledge when you are not and make space together to figure out where to go from there.
If what you imagine wanting in a relationship is not happening in the first few months with someone, consider what it is you are really wanting. Is it marriage? Is it kids? Is it everyday cuddles? Is it the everydayness of life you want to share with someone? Is it that you want to build a life with your best friend and support each other’s growth and dreams? Now consider how do you get to that point with someone? Do you skip the dates for dinner and a movie? Do you skip the endless conversations to figure out who each other are? Do you start from knowing deeply, loving deeply, and living fully enmeshed? Relationships take work to get to a place where longevity is prominent. It takes time to be the others other in this full-bodied all-encompassing way.
Then there are those people who meet and after only a few encounters they know they must be with that person. Are we all living for a situation like this to occur? These stories are rare and prevalent enough for them to exist as a rational possibility for us all to imagine it would occur for us too. If we never experience it, are we missing out? Is finding someone and facing the raw hard reality with the other meaningless? Even those people who feel they must be together after just a few encounters come up against the reality of their differences in who they are as people. There will be times where you do not understand each other, where you miss the other completely, where you disappoint the other without even understanding why, where you want to do something, but they want to do something else, where they think it is totally fine and you absolutely disagree. How you work together through these fissures is what moves the relationship along or contributes to its potential disintegration. You must learn to grow together, or you will grow apart preventing each other from fully blooming.
© Victoria Venturella, Existential Dialogues, The Existentialist
#relationships #infinitehuman #sharedexistence #beingseen #beingheard #activelistening #everdayliving #relationshipsarehard #relationshipsarework #communication #bepresent #besupportive #marriage #justmarried #theone #centralpurposetherapy #existential #existentialphenomeology #victoriaventurella #relationshipwithself #communication #transcendence #futureself #infinitepossibilities #existentialpsychotherapy
As you walk along the sidewalk your feet cannot merge with the earth. The leaves in trees will forever blow beside you. As long as you are living the sky will exist above you. My hand against yours will forever be smaller and no matter how hard we press upon each other we will never completely merge. You can spin me out into the floor of life, letting go while still feeling my presence. We dance alone while still dancing together. Magnetically we coalesce cultivating our rhythmic promenade. Spiraling outwards into all the coordinates of this floor and then meeting again in the middle. We languish. We are forever foreign no matter how familiar. We enunciate where we are while we occupy the same space. To move together we must speak each other’s language. As we evolve individually new words will need to be translated to express the full scope of where we now find ourselves. To dance on the same floor, we must remain innovative. We will need to find new moves to grow together.
We choose to dance on the same floor for the rest of our lives within the world of floors. One day one of us will stop dancing. The floor will never reflect absence into our eyes quite like this day. Where the music streams together scenes of our shared moments, you imagine leaning me backwards. We both feel weightless. I am a memory within the permanence of our separation. Forever in your arms, forever separate.
As you whisper silence softly into my ear, embers flutter all around us from the burning fire of adventure we both loudly ruminate on. While we travel, we still dance. Alone I travel at the edge of the world along the tracks of this sacred solitude. I lean my head against this leather seat watching the trees merge from constant motion. Lifting my cheek from the seat I draw my attention inward staring at the empty seat before me. Imagination begins to paint you into where I am. Your eyes smiling at me, you tap my foot with yours. As you look out the window with me, your laughter echoes through my mind, and I am here. Where I am. Becoming aware of the time, I am no longer somewhere else. The mountain side takes the shape of our windows. You are not home. I listen to the bird singing outside, and I accept that what will be, will be. Separation does not inherently mean permanence. Your absence does not sadden me. Even if I sat along the floor weeping in the reflection of your Truest absence, I would still dance once I stood up. Often in your honor. I will not always have something to hold on to, I may be twirling solo infinitely through the center of the floor. I can exist without you, enjoy the world I live in, and still await your presence. Wherever we are, we are. It is possible for two people to be together without belonging to one another. Where they have a sacred relationship that takes on its own form. No one is obligated to stay, to be the others Other. The choice to be together is always on the table.
Cherish the experience you have in world with all things. Even a separation of impermanence could unintentionally be permanent. Life has its way of casting tragedy upon us and giving us new gardens to eat from. In the absence of the Other you may see how much their presence means to you. Even if when they are present you know this, in their absence it becomes clearer.
You are a being-in-the-world. You live in a fundamental separateness from everything that exists beyond you, while you can never separate yourself completely from the world while you are living. No exposure, no disclosure, no nakedness, no corporeal friction will ever dissolve our asymmetrical nature. We will forever live-in relation to The Other.
© Victoria Venturella, Existential Dialogues, The Existentialist
